Losing a loved one is a heart-wrenching experience, but it’s also an opportunity to celebrate their life and honor their memory in meaningful ways. Here, we’ll explore various options for remembering and honoring those who have passed.
One way to keep the departed’s memory alive is to create lasting memorials. There are as many ways to do this as people considering it. It will look different for everyone. It can be personal to you and your family or more far-reaching to include the community or the world. We will explore a few ways to honor your loved one(s).
Plant a memorial tree or garden
A garden may be an excellent option if you have a green thumb. Did your loved one have a favorite flower? Did they love butterflies? Bees? Your garden will be the living, breathing memory of your beloved. Fill it with plants, flowers, or vegetables that remind you of the bond and love you shared.
If you want to take it further, you can even turn their ashes into a tree. Watching a sapling grow into a mighty tree symbolizes your connection and love for your person, continuing to thrive well beyond the death of their physical body. Creating a memorial tree isn’t something you want to DIY, though. Planting untreated human ashes can be toxic to the ecosystem, harming the tree and other trees and plant life around it. If you opt for this, you should partner with a reputable company that specializes in it. A quick search will offer plenty of options.
Erect a plaque or bench in their honor
The hospice I worked for has a beautiful walking path with small, flat stone slabs purchased by families of those who passed while on hospice. They include names, dates, and special messages. There is a sense of eternity when walking that path. Reading the messages fills the heart with an appreciation for how humans connect and the love we share.
If you are looking for something more expansive, a park bench is something to consider. Your loved one will serve as a respite for all who need a place to rest momentarily. You can place these benches in various locations, including cemeteries and parks. You can place one in your garden or front porch if you want a private option.
Donate to your loved one’s favorite charity
Donating honors your loved one and can serve as a lifeline to those in need. Their favorite charity is one avenue for giving back. Did they love animals? Were they passionate about human rights?
Another way to give back is to donate to a charity for the same disease that took their life. Make sure to vet any charity you are considering. Some charities use their donations in ways you might disapprove of. You’ll want to check the percentage of donations that go to the community versus the percentage that goes to the administration or the executive director. If you’re passionate about animal rights, make sure to check if they research by testing on animals.
This is just a sampling of ways to memorialize your loved one. We will explore this topic further in future blog posts.
Reflections on the Final Farewell 
This is a bit off-topic, but it made me think of my unusual situation where my loved one wants their death and burial to be strictly private, with announcements being made (even to their siblings) only after the burial. Luckily, they’ve already told their siblings that this is their wish, so hopefully the sisters won’t blame me for following through. Maybe a private memorial, like the ones you’ve described here, would help heal what I fear may become somewhat of a rift between me and my family, if I live to be the one to fulfill my eccentric loved one’s directive.
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I truly hope that you will be able to avoid a rift. I don’t envy your position but I respect that you are willing to follow your loved one’s wishes.
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